Adventures in Pizza, Part Two

Ok, so there were a few problems with yesterday's concoction.  First, it didn't fill me up.  Second, I was hungry two hours later.  Not cool.  I revised the "recipe" today.  I added three ounces of chicken.  Yesterday's meats on the pizza were only a bit over an ounce.

I'm not sure that the string cheese adds any flavor.  I only used 1/2 of a stick, but I still don't think it is necessary.  Next time I'm going to take that out and instead use a tablespoon of tomato sauce and actually mix everything together and then put it on the tortilla.  It won't look pretty, but it will be moist and the toppings won't fall off as easily.  Or better yet, nix the tortilla and find another base of some sort.  I saw a recipe that called for an egg white that was sort of scrambled, but that just sounds gross.  Still, the tortilla adds 100 calories, as well as carbs, which I'm watching, too.  Or maybe I don't even need a base?  Just mix it all up and eat it out of a custard cup?

I've got a tenderloin in the slow cooker with a dry rub recipe from my friend.  He swears by it.  There's brown sugar in there, but I cut some of it out and tossed in some Stevia.  We'll see how it turns out.  5 more hours to go.  I'm not going to be able to eat much because breakfast and lunch today were both 250 calories.  My current calorie goal is 800/day, but it may increase once I have some fluid in the band and eat more meat.  Right now is the most dangerous time - I don't ever feel full, and don't want to gain and weight.

Pizza, Part Two (with chicken)

Adventures in Pizza

The old Amy would have ordered a pepperoni pizza tonight.  The new Amy made it another way.  I guess it was successful?  I just threw some stuff together.  It looks strange but it tasted good.  I like the idea of using string cheese, but it doesn't melt at all.  The picture below was actually after it was baked.  

What I used:

1 small flour tortilla

1 wedge of Laughing Cow spreadable cheese (Tomato/Basil flavor)

1/8 cup turkey sausage

1 T fake meat

1 lowfat string cheese

sprinkle of garlic powder

I didn't taste the fake meat at all, so I think I'm getting close to being able to use it half and half in recipes. 

The Question I Dislike...

 "How much weight have you lost?"  Most of you know that I haven't made my surgery details very public.  Only some of my family and a few good friends know.  Why?  I'm not totally sure.  I'm not ashamed that I have a Lap Band, but I just don't want a bunch of questions, and I know people are curious about it.  Despite what people say, I believe that having weight loss surgery is viewed differently than any other type of surgery.   Stigma.  And you know what?  The Lap Band isn't an easy way out.  It is hard.  Very hard.

I went to my PCP this morning for a post op check up.  The surgery center provides this also, but I felt more comfortable seeing my PCP as well, just because she takes care of "all of me" - not just the weight loss issue.  I got some blood drawn (only two attempts this time, yeah) to check my vitamin levels.  I'm anxious to see those results next week.  I was asked my dreaded question three times.  One by the nurse, one by the PCP (which I'm ok with) and one by the receptionist (which I actually don't mind because I told her about the surgery at my last visit).  I guess the thing that bothers me is that the first question is about the number. 

I didn't have a Lap Band put in because I want to weigh a certain number.  I want to be healthy, whatever weight that ends up being.  My weight loss ticker at the top of the page says that I should lose something like 155 pounds.  That number is the target weight for someone of my height.  Will I make it there?  I don't know.  What I do know is that I will no longer be prediabetic, have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, or high cholesterol.  When those things are gone, I will know that I've reached my goal.  Along the way, I'd like to decrease my antidepressant.  I'm kind of hoping to snag a husband and crank out a kid or two in the process, but I'll take what I can get ;)

So please..... don't ask my number.  I might tell you myself, but let me be the one to bring it up.  Right now I update it every morning on my iPhone, but after my first fill next week, then I'll only be weighing weekly. 

Will? Will Power? Is there a Will Power in here?

  

My second taste of "fast food."  My first experience was a kid's meal at PF Chang's (half of it, as I was only 2 weeks post op).  Today was Chili's.  The appetizer had 10 boneless wings.  I took a picture because I wanted to remember how many were actually on the plate.  Although I have the Lap Band, there is not a sense of restriction yet.  Basically what that means is that unless I eat too quickly (or a dangerous, banned food), I don't feel full.  I have to stop myself.  

 
Two months ago, I would have mowed down that whole order, and probably more.  Today, I allowed myself four pieces.  I don't have words to express how difficult it was to not only leave it on my plate, drive home with it in the car and then to be in the house, knowing that the leftovers were in the fridge.  Whew.  It's going to be a long road.

Me? READ?

I picked up a few books from the library today.  Most of the books were just to get some recipe ideas for the cooking-ability-challenged, but one is actually a book to "read."  I don't like to read.  I know.  A teacher that doesn't like to read.  But it's true.  (and I just started that last "sentence" with but).  I made a new rule.  There are no grammar rules for blogging.

My current read:  SKINNY BITCH by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin

"A no-nonsense tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous."  

So far it seems pretty good.  I just finished reading a part that compares sugar, chocolate and cheese to alcohol, cocaine, heroin and nicotine.  I wish I could find my dopamine fix with broccoli or tofu.  But I don't.  The authors say, "The trick is resetting our memory tracts to feel pleasure from healthy food, and no pleasure from junk food."  

And I walk on...filled with more knowledge, but few spots in my brain to absorb it.  So much to learn.

Progress

Brave Food Warrior

I don't really care for eggs.  I've had them plenty of times in my life (mom made that horrid breakfast casserole a few too many times on Christmas morning).  I know that eggs are a good source of protein, which I really need to work on....so I made eggs for dinner!  Never, EVER in my life have I made eggs. 

I bought the liquid egg substitute (which are only egg whites, if I understand correctly).  Here is the recipe that I made up using lots of things I like (in moderation) and mixed 'em with the eggs, which I obviously didn't want to eat.

1/2 C Liquid egg whites

1/3 C Turkey sausage

1/2 T Bacon Pieces

2 T Salsa

1 Piece of Velveeta cheese

Dash of Cayenne pepper

Yield = 1 Cup  (two servings for me)

I combined everything in my Magic Bullet.  It looked terrible before I cooked it and it looked terrible when it was done.  However, it was good.  Only 185 calories.  <patting self on back>  Next time I can cut back on the turkey sausage and bacon and slip in some mystery meat.  I bet I could switch to Laughing Cow Queso Fresco instead of Velveeta, too.

I'm proud of myself for trying a food that I have disliked for years.  Go ME!

Looks scary.